Why we get depressed

Most of us are influenced by the environment around us, some of us more than others, when that influence become negative we can feel overwhelmed and that can lead to a chemical imbalance in our bodies which we can experience as headache and/or upset stomach etc. We react to this imbalance by feeling disconnected and conflicted. These emotions are then processed cognitively and we might experience thoughts like: “Is there something wrong with me?”, “Is this my fault?” , “Is it just me who doesn’t fit in?”. When we allow thoughts like this to take over we reinforce the chemical imbalance and our internal conflict in our bodies leading to physical and mental symptoms of discomfort. This can become a negative spiral leading to depression.

We can’t always control our environment nor can we shut off our emotional reactions, but what we can do is change the cognitive process, or the way we think, so that instead of reinforcing the chemical imbalance in our bodies and the negative feelings we can stop them in their tracks and neutralize them with positive self-talk and self-soothing techniques.

18 thoughts on “Why we get depressed

  1. People also become depressed because they always expect perfect outcome. Life involves losses and defeats, and we have to perceive them as a lesson and move on. When some situation cannot improve right away and there is resistance, many feel that it is a lost battle. Social media also contribute a lot to getting some people upset.
    However, research shows that depression is overdiagnosed, and frequently, upset mood which is normal can lead one to assumption that they are depressed.
    When we program ourselves for one or another thing, it becomes a vicious circle. Just like saying to oneself: I’m tired, I’m exhausted, I’m unhappy and repeating it frequently, doesn’t allow to get out of such a state of mind.
    We have to simply grow up and start understanding that happiness is not a goal, but reward after sequence of appropriate actions.
    Like you’re saying: we cannot shut off our emotional reactions and emotions always. That is normal, too, to be upset, to feel not right or not satisfied with everything.
    As we know, feelings of guilt and fault, are invented by people in order to have more control over the others. Universe knows no guilt and fault. The only time one experiences that is when they try to convince themselves about being faulty or guilty.

    • Yes, absolutely 😊. I definitely think especially Social Media creates unrealistic expectations of what life should be like. Sometimes it almost feels like most of us in the world are growing up more or less entitled, thinking that luxuries are a right not a privilege. All problems should be solvable by modern science otherwise we are the victims of unjust treatment. I especially see this in Norway vs. for example India. In Norway you are considered to be poor if you can’t go on holiday abroad, in India going on holiday abroad is a luxury very few can afford and at least have to save up for for years. We have become more or less spoiled, especially in rich western countries, expecting to be given a good life and having all our needs met otherwise we are victims and feel sorry for ourselves. I think this also the root cause of our problems with overconsumption amongst other things, and just generally moving further away from the “natural”. But that is just my opinion.😊

  2. Changing how we think is not always easy. Sometimes it requires building new pathways in our brains. But it is possible with practice. One question to ask with a negative thought is, What’s another way to think about this. I’ve recently had to shift from thinking of the worst case scenario to the best possible outcome, just for my own mental health and give at least as much time to the good thoughts.

    • That is a very good method! 😊💖. Changing our thinking certainly isn’t easy! Sometimes it requires the help of a therapist or just another person who truly care about us to sort out our thoughts. Especially if those thoughts are old learned patterns from our childhood. Then we might not even know that those thoughts are wrong at all! It takes time and a lot of self-love. But like you say, it is possible! 😊 I often find that with anxiety it’s a bit different, for me at least. The downward spiral can start with a thought popping up from seemingly nowhere and that thought creates the emotional reaction and consequently the chemical imbalance. And this is where I really have to pay attention to my thoughts! I mean, if I am sitting safe in my home enjoying a good movie or a cup of tea or a good book, why on earth should I spin myself into a worry frenzy! That’s just lame! So I have to try to garden my mind and weed out the sprouts that shouldn’t be there, but that is also often a complicated process which we might need help to figure out. But to me at least, it is crucial to, when I can, create a loving and nurturing atmosphere for myself so that my surroundings will support my healthy emotions instead of trying to tear them apart. 😊😊😊

  3. Amen, Trini!

    And, as well, when we ELIMINATE any concept of the ability to be shamed by Self or others, especially Self, the low energy period that precedes depression is perceived as just that. And, then we don’t ALLOW it to dip below the baseline of Rock Bottom.

    Plus, when you hit the ground of rock bottom… Stomp Stomp Stomp… not only does everything and almost anything look better than that from there… Stomp Stomp Stomp… we realize that…. Rock Bottom is a pretty darn STRONG place to stand. May even be a pivotal cornerstone in life to brace against… and then we molt… slipping the issue with the workability of, “What is the workability in this experience?” And, eyes brighten, we move to step… the hardest step being the first…. and then 2… and then 3.. and then… GOT THIS… 4… 5 …6, the epic number of reciprocality, the epic spiral of giving and receiving… and then… soon… not only do we have out life back… we have it back in strange and newly treasured ways on OUR terms.

    I don’t want to sound simplistic and over-generalized, or minimize pain, though… pain has a benefit of workability beyond pouting about it. Rather than pouting and quitting so that Santa Claus doesn’t come… Pain has workability… inherently. Pain has inherent workability of you “DON’T WASTE TROUBLE” — I wrote about this on my blog.

    From the Master Chief in the movie “G.I. Jane”: The best thing about pain is… it lets you know you’re still alive. When you feel that… get up… get up… and make your way back home. We don’t leave anyone behind.

    • Wonderful reflections, Jordan! 😊👍🏻 I often find that the “shaming” that comes from the “self” is actually not really coming from the “self”. When I start weeding through my mind I often find that the root of those negative thoughts come from outside. Maybe something from my childhood or something someone has said to me that I didn’t pay that much attention to at the time, but that somehow made its way into my subconscious mind to be resurrected later when I am facing adversary. Gardening the mind is an ongoing process that often happens moment by moment rather than as a weekly chore 😊😊.

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