Making other people happy is an easy way to make yourself happy, but when we strain ourselves too much, when we use other people’s happiness to forget about our pain, when there is an imbalance between input and output, it can be harmful to our health and cause an addictive behavioral pattern where you become dependent on others for your happiness. Trying too hard to please others can cause stress-related illnesses as much as a high-pressure job can.
Taking care of your own needs is not selfish it is healthy! Yes, some of us have different needs than others, like much needed alone-time, long moments of silence, a lot of rest, etc. that can sometimes irritate people who can’t relate to it. But we need to take care of our special needs anyway and ignore those who try to make us feel bad for being the way we are. Imagine if you don’t take care of your needs and come down with a stress-related illness that ends you up in hospital. Most likely those same people will come to you saying: “Why didn’t you just speak up for yourself and tell us what you needed?”
Everyone wants to be the cause of someone else’s happiness, but no one wants to be the cause of someone else’s pain. When you don’t take care of your own needs and don’t speak up for yourself you unintentionally put someone in that position. And that, I imagine, if you are anything like me, is the last thing you want.