Making other people happy

Making other people happy is an easy way to make yourself happy, but when we strain ourselves too much, when we use other people’s happiness to forget about our pain, when there is an imbalance between input and output, it can be harmful to our health and cause an addictive behavioral pattern where you become dependent on others for your happiness. Trying too hard to please others can cause stress-related illnesses as much as a high-pressure job can.

Taking care of your own needs is not selfish it is healthy! Yes, some of us have different needs than others, like much needed alone-time, long moments of silence, a lot of rest, etc. that can sometimes irritate people who can’t relate to it. But we need to take care of our special needs anyway and ignore those who try to make us feel bad for being the way we are. Imagine if you don’t take care of your needs and come down with a stress-related illness that ends you up in hospital. Most likely those same people will come to you saying: “Why didn’t you just speak up for yourself and tell us what you needed?”

Everyone wants to be the cause of someone else’s happiness, but no one wants to be the cause of someone else’s pain. When you don’t take care of your own needs and don’t speak up for yourself you unintentionally put someone in that position. And that, I imagine, if you are anything like me, is the last thing you want.

As an Empath

As an Empath I can merge

with any life form,

becoming life itself manifested

in flight, gills, earthlings and heart.

I lose my grip on my individuality and

float on your humming strings,

expand on your wings and dive

into your dark.

I even get lost in conflicting

tones unable to decipher your cadence

from my own.

That is why I need my art.

Art becomes: another you, another life,

my own heart, gills, wings.

I merge with the life form we call

the soul. My soul.

I drown in this depth only to re-emerge

on another surface having become myself

fully, wholly, holy, fulfillingly

myself.

Being and Empath

I’d rather

lose

myself

than see you

lose

in life.

I’d rather

be the one

crying

than see you

hurt.

And no,

this is not

a love poem.

“You”

are the one reading

this poem

and everyone

who is not.

You see,

if it is my

pain,

it is mine

to heal.

If it is your

pain,

it is still mine

but not mine

to heal.