Traveling through past lives and learning to love them

Living in another country than the one you were born in is both an exciting adventure and sometimes a bit of heartache. There is something about childhood’s old stomping grounds that tugs at those very special heartstrings sometimes causing spells of nostalgia and longing. We are always drawn back to the place we were born.

But returning can sometimes not be as idyllic and comforting as we think. As expatriates, or someone living away from their country of permanent residence, we, and that is me included, often romanticize our home country, the friendships we have there and our family bonds. Especially if we are away for a long time without being able to go for visits.

Seeing that special street you played on again, or chatting with old friends, or just opening the door to your childhood home can be a pretty strange experience. It certainly was for me. There was so much that had changed. And the most prominent change was within me.
I had started looking at things differently. And the world around me changed accordingly.

It’s strange meeting childhood friends again after years of being apart. Sometimes the bond that was there can’t be re-tied. Sometimes you start remembering differently. Memories are subjective and change according to our mood. I have, during these weeks in my childhood home, had to rethink, reclaim, and change color of a lot of memories.

As people we grow all the time. Mental growth goes through spurts just like physical growing in our childhood, only these mental growth spurts can happen anytime no matter how old we are.

When we are adults we learn how to separate from our egos and look at ourselves more or less objectively. We learn and we reflect and consequently we grow. Self-insight is a gift and it comes with age.

Going back in time, looking at who we were, reliving situations from our past separate from our egos with the wisdom of age, can be painful, but it’s a healing pain like the thumping ache in a wound.

Every single moment we have experienced, every person we have been, every age, every phase, they are all apart of us. Sometimes it’s hard to accept certain people we have been, some choices we made, things we have said, things we have done. Perhaps we are embarrassed or disappointed. But I find that it is often these most painful memories that teach us the most about ourselves. If we can relieve them with understanding, separate from our egos, from a perspective of learning.

Learning. I think learning, learning about the world, about ourselves, about being human, is why we are alive. And no learning comes from judgement. Learning comes from a willingness to understand and openness to change.

We are all many different people, yet all those are one and the same. We are different pieces put together to make a unique collage. Sometimes, we may feel that we are playing a role, we are not being ourselves. But those roles are true parts of ourselves too. Every drop of ourselves we drip into this world holds our true spirit, like the DNA we accidentally leave everywhere we go. A role is never a role, it’s just a different version of ourselves. And often, these roles are the ones to hold clues to solve the puzzles of who we are or who we want to be.

Being human is complicated. Attachment is complicated. Sometimes we underestimate the power of attachment. Sometimes we overestimate it. Love and attachment is not the same thing. They are close relatives, but not the same. Attachment is the biological name for love. We need attachment, we don’t need love. But that is what makes love so beautiful. We are never forced to love or to be loved. It’s impossible. Love is much stronger than force.

Meeting your past selves in the door, your past lives, can be challenging. Physically walking through the fields you walked through to go to school is not the same as making that journey mentally. We can of course do either or, but doing both changes us. It changes us because we learn, we forgive, we learn to, or rather we make the choice to, Love all those past selves and past lives.

That choice makes us stronger, stronger than most people. When we choose to love our mistakes, to love our weaknesses and our faults, and no longer look at them as mistakes, weaknesses or faults, but redefine them in light of our present awareness as consequences of an imperfect, vulnerable person interacting with an unpredictable chaotic world, we also learn to see other people in the same way. We learn true compassion born of deep enlightened empathy. A compassion that surpasses religion, moral and holy books and becomes a true beacon lit by ourselves, a beacon we can relight any time, and that only we ourselves can choose to darken and let die out.

Traveling is important. Actual physical traveling, traveling back in time, traveling through our memories, traveling through our minds. It is, perhaps, the most important thing we can do. Take time to travel. It will change you. It will make you grow.

True bravery is daring to face all our true selves and smile warmly back no matter how embarrassing or distressing it is.

The cliche says that life is a journey, well then let’s try to be the best travelers we can be. They say travel lightly, only pack what you need, but the truth is we need everything, every experience, every embarrassment, every wound, every sadness. If the journey is traveling through our humanity then we need everything that makes us human n our backpacks otherwise it is completely pointless and we might as well stay home.

Have an amazing Journey, fellow travelers!

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Your life leaves a double footprint

Every day you infuse with life and love
Leaves a double footprint:
One on your soul,
And one on earth.
Your life makes a path like that:
One will lead others to greatness,
The other will lead you
Safely Home.

Making Flowers Grow

Your light wanted to lift
My tears to Heaven, one at the time,
But my grief was not ready to leave
And became rain instead,
Giving its lessons back to earth
And making flowers grow
And shallow lakes deepen.

The Lighthouses I keep – Kindness

I have many values I base my life upon. They work as light houses along the coast guiding me along. I have acquired all of them myself along the way, and I am also the lighthouse keeper making sure they stay aflame. I am not a preacher or a guide of any kind, or a life coach, but I do keep those light houses burning for anyone who wants to take inspiration from them.

I have never believed in money. Money started out as a practical currency to make trade easier, but look what it has turned the world into. Money is basically ruling the world.

I felt, ever since I was a child, that if the Universe wanted me to have something, to learn something, to meet someone, it would make that event happen without the involvement of money. I believe that what I need Spiritually will be provided for me as long as I keep an open mind and follow the clues. Clues can be anything from a word popping up several times in a day, or a message on a billboard, or a sentence in a book, or a stranger coming up to say hello. I always follow the clues.

I remember once, I was asked to buy some Spiritual books from a very nice man. I loved the books, but I declined, telling the man that I didn’t believe in paying money for Spiritual knowledge. The whole episode ended with the man giving me all three books for free. This is the only time I have explained why I won’t buy something of Spiritual value, like join a class or a workshop, but still, everything I have ever needed has always come to me at exactly the right time. Without fail.

All my teenage years this kept happening to me, I followed the clues and ended up with exactly what I needed.

When I was in college I learned about the term Earth Angel. I liked the term, but the definition was for me a bit too “Martian” for me, and precisely because of this I have started shying away from the word Earth Angel. But not the concept. I have just developed my own definition.

After many years of receiving clues from the universe I decided that it was time to give back. I wanted to be one of those who helped the universe plant those clues. And this is the most fun decision I have ever made in my life. For those of you who have followed my blog for a while you might have heard some of the stories. I have written encouraging letters to strangers, put messages in bottles, planted poems in library books, hidden little treasures on beaches and forests, left Angels in trees, drawn chalk drawings with encouraging messages in parking lots etc. etc. I have always sought the guidance of my intuition, the part of me connected to the universe, before embarking on one of these adventures.

This is why I have always hesitated to put my writing in books to be sold. I want my work to be available to all regardless of income. Otherwise I would not feel that I was doing divine work.

On one of my journeys around the world I met two beautiful ladies who ran a yoga center together. They gave all classes free of charge only with a donation box at the entrance for those who could afford to pay. I had a poetry exhibition there with a poetry reading. I did not have to pay to rent the place and I met a lovely young musician who played the sitar and volunteered to accompany me with his music.

I wish there were more people like that in the world, people who gave freely of their talents, their time and kindness. People who wanted no more payment than knowing that they had helped change someone’s life for the better. I see so many people, especially young people, in the world today searching for meaning. But there is so much meaning out there! Making a difference in the world has nothing to do with fame or recognition, it has to do with being everything you can be, with fulfilling your potential and spilling over unto the world your creativity, talent and love.

The Lighthouses I keep – Gratitude

I have many values I base my life upon. They work as light houses along the coast guiding me along. I have acquired all of them myself along the way, and I am also the lighthouse keeper making sure they stay aflame. I am not a preacher or a guide of any kind, or a life coach, but I do keep those light houses burning for anyone who wants to take inspiration from them.

I often hear people who have been close to dying speak about a new approach to life, a beautiful inspiration found after being confronted with death. I think about death all the time. That may sound sad, but that is not what I mean. I like to philosophize over what happens when we die. I have come to believe that when we leave this world all our actions, the good and the bad, are shown to us, we get to witness our whole life in retrospect, much like our own coming-of-age movie being played before us if you like. I don’t believe in karma the way it is presented to us today, even though my theory might sound like it. I believe when we are at that stage of transitioning we do no longer see our life through human eyes, we see our life through the eyes of the soul, and even though our bad actions will sadden us, the intention will not be punishment, but forgiveness. A forgiveness born from understanding and love. It is not easy to be human. A human is not pure soul, our hormones, instincts, biological heritage, psychological makeup and temperament all play a part in our behavior.

But what I want to talk about here is not the mistakes we make, but all the love, kindness and inspiration we share. Imagine all the love you have given out flowing back to you, covering you in softness and light. You have touched so many people with your life. Maybe just by saying hi to someone on the bus, or being a substitute parent/big sibling to the neighbor kid who has two working parents, or by giving food to someone on the street, or giving a compliment to a friend. The list goes on and on. Imagine if you didn’t have to wait until your dying day to feel all that love, imagine it being given to you all the time. What wouldn’t that do to your confidence, to your sense of purpose and self-love?

So that is what I do. Whenever someone has touched my life for the better in any tiny way I let them know. And this has led to some incredible experiences. Because I let everyone know. Whether it is a stranger or a family member or a shopkeeper or someone famous. The famous people who have touched my life are mostly authors. And if you think there is really no point in feeding the ego of these already celebrated characters, you are wrong. Perhaps their egos are being stroked all the time, but I am not talking about fan mail, I am talking about letting someone know they have made a difference in your life. I once received a three pages long handwritten letter from a very famous author who poured out her beautiful heart to me in words I will treasure for ever. A Danish poet, who is the one who inspired me to write poetry, sent me her entire collection of books (in the mail to India!) after I wrote her a mail thanking her for being such an inspiration to me. My point is, every single one I have ever thanked for making my life just a little bit better have appreciated it, and all of them have been surprised! Totally unaware of the beauty and value of their work, words and action.

I want to encourage everyone out there to do the same. To tell people, whoever it is, even if it is the super famous director of the film that inspired you to choose your dream career, what an impact they had in your life. Even if you don’t get a reply. A reply is not what you are after. Once you give something, it is out there, your job is done, and what you get in return comes from the light you have lit in this, often seemingly dark, world.

That is why I always say: create a path of light with your life. What you give away is yours forever, what you hold back is lost forever.