A Heart Wide Open

2016-05-19 15.57.01

My spiritual journey… where to start…? I am tempted to start with the beginning, but what beginning? If this is about the soul’s journey then I have no idea when it started, right? Well, to simplify things a bit I will start with the first memories I have of spirituality in this life. I must have around 3-4 years old, I was very well aware of the “otherworld” the place beyond what we could see with our eyes, but very much within reach of a child’s vivid imagination. What I sensed in this world as a toddler was the world of the fairies, the elves, the forest people. I played with them, talked to them, and befriended them. I cannot remember seeing them, other than with my inner eye, only with one exception, but even that has become a little blurry with age.

I was about 6 years old when I first learned about God and religion. I am brought up in a strongly atheist family where religion was quite ridiculed as being something weak people uses as comfort. The world was what it was, nothing more nothing less. My father taught my about philosophy and science, but not religion. But when I was 6 I met a girl whom I befriended, she was 2 years older than me, and had, despite her own atheist family, converted to Christianity. We called ourselves “Secret Christians” and we had meetings on top of the freezer in my parents’ basement. We had a little paper chocolate box with nostalgic pictures of Jesus and the Angels. I loved those pictures so much, perhaps even more than the actual Jesus. I cannot remember even knowing anything about Jesus, I just loved the idea of another world, an invisible world of softness and comfort and warmth. It was completely magical to me.

When I was 8 we started learning about Christianity in school, but my parents, being atheist, decided to take me out of those classes and put me in an alternative class where we learned about philosophy. That class made all the difference in the world to my spiritual development, because in addition to philosophy we also learned about Eastern religion and thinking. I became interested in Buddhism and Hinduism, and read everything I could get a hold of about those religions. That same year, when I was 8, I befriended a Vietnamese boy who had just come from Vietnam to Norway, he and his entire family were Buddhists. I visited there often, and that boy became my best friend. I met him once later in life as well, at that time he insisted that I was a Bodhisattva, something which I of course declined.

When I was 14 years old, I called myself a Hindu. I wore bindhis in my forehead and knew everything about the chakras, reincarnation and karma. I had also developed a strong social conscience. I had always wanted to help people. When I was 8 I wrote a poem about street children which was published in a local newspaper, and when I was 10 I became pen pals with a Croatian girl who lived in poverty and war. I sent her all my dolls and candy and clothes. But when I was 14 I started considering helping people as a “career”. I dreamt of going to India and working with poor children there. I was too young to go, so I started sponsoring two children living in the slums in India. My parents did not know anything about it, so I had to ask the NGO if I was allowed to sponsor a child at 14. I earned money from babysitting so that was not a problem. The NGO said yes, so I started paying for schooling and food and clothes for those two children. Later I also started sponsoring a homeless dog living in a shelter. I had been vegetarian since I was 11 because I loved animals so much and could not think of them as food. I have never been the kind of person who cuddle and talk baby talk to animals, but I have always had a deep respect for them. I had been around horses since I was 8 and I felt that we were equals. I did not feel more than them in any way. The same year, when I was 14, I started taking meditation classes. It was me and a bunch of 40 year olds, but I didn’t mind that, I never cared about age, I saw souls, not aging people. That meditation class taught me to meditate, inspired me to think new thoughts about spirituality, and let me meet other people who were more like me. Up till then I had never met another spiritual person in my life. I became quite popular in that class, being the “baby girl”, and I made lots of friends, even the teacher teaching the class gave me special attention. I also had my first spiritual experienced in this class. I remember one meditation where we were guided to see ourselves in a previous life. That was a very profound meditation. I saw myself running for my life in a field in a hot country, covering my ears from gunshots in another country, and lastly living by the sea in a little hut writing. I remember seeing myself in the mirror in one of the meditations and seeing another face not my own, that scared me a little. In another meditation I became an eagle flying above mountains, and I kept hearing the words “Fly on the wings of Love” repeated in my mind. I also learned to chant mantras, and I experience my first spiritual trance. By the end of the year, when the class was over the teacher did our horoscopes, and when he did mine, he looked at me wistfully and said: “You are truly gifted, you can go to the very heart of the knowledge, I have not seen this extraordinary horoscope in a long time. “ It scared me little I remember. Before we said goodbye the teacher gave me his mala, a Hindu rosary, he took it off his own neck and gave it to me. After that class I needed some grounding. In those days I found spirituality to be a little scary, I had no idea what it was or what I was doing. I was afraid of my own “power” in a way. But I kept at it.

The summer I was 15 was a magical summer. I read James Redfield’s book “The Ninth insight”, and my world changed. All of a sudden it was filled with magic. Everything was a sign, a clue, a white stone that would lead me somewhere. I followed the clues, one by one. It lead me to a meeting with a Buddhist group where I spent some time meditating. It was also the summer I met a deer, a strange and mysterious encounter in the depth of the forest. I was filled with fun-loving that summer and went to a concert in another city with a friend. I liked the band, but it was a street musician that caught my interest. His name was Chris and he was half Indian half Native American. He told me he was an orphan adopted by Norwegian parents from a South American orphanage. He was deeply spiritual and sang songs about spirituality and life. We ended up talking the whole night. When I came home I received a letter from someone named Chris, but it was not him. It was an American prisoner writing from a prison in US. I have no idea how he got me address. We exchanged a few letters and I ended up receiving a letter and a book from Mahatma Gandhi’s grandson.

When I was 16 I could finally go abroad, something I had dreamed of for a very long time. I went to Ireland to study English. I loved Ireland, especially a little island called Inish Moor where I wrote in the sand on a tiny beach “I’ll be back.” I also started learning qi gong that year, a Chinese meditative dance of movements, it was not really for me, but I met many lovely people and learned new things about myself.

The year I turned 17 I finally got my big chance to go to India. The NGO I had been supporting for a while was arranging a trip for sponsors to meet their sponsored children. I signed up right away. I talked to my principal at school and got it approved as a study trip. That trip surely changed my life. It was the journey of my dreams. Finally I got to see all that which I had dreamed of for such a long time, I could meet the people, see the temples, admire the colors, and of course get to know the children I had been sponsoring for two years. They were little angles and they called me big sister. I will never forget eating home cooked food on the floor of my little sister’s mud hut far away in the Indian country side, or holding my little brother’s hand as he chose new shoes as a gift from me. I was enchanted. And India became my second home land. I celebrated my 18th Birthday on a camel in the Rajasthani desert followed by an elephant ride up to the Maharaja’s castle. Was I living in a story book? After that trip I would be going back to India once a year for many years to come.

Arriving back in Norway things changed. I could not go to parties anymore, I did not enjoy shopping or anything else my peers were doing, I found solace in art, and decided to major in fine art and take night classes in art. It gave me a channel to express my emotions and my frustrations for a over-materialized culture. I became more different. I wore different clothes. I could only think about all the poverty and horrors of the world. I had seen a lot for a girl of 18. So I signed up for a creative course for teenagers on a small island on the coast of south-Norway. I met other artists and writers and had my first poetry exhibition in a tiny weather-beaten hut on the cliffs by the sea. It was storming outside and raining heavily, and people read my poems lit up by small lanterns. It was magical.

The year I was 19 I made a big decision, I decided to go back to India to work as volunteer social worker for 6 months after High School. I still took time to help collect clothes for street children in Romania, and that Christmas I spent in Romania giving food and clothes to the street children living in the sewers under the ground. I will never forget it. I wrote a newspaper article about it and was interviewed by several newspapers. By now, everyone in my local city knew me.

It was now time for me to go to India. The big trip. The life-changing journey. But I was ready. I stayed for the first three months in a convent in a city working mostly with children in the slum. I even created my own program for kids with alcoholic and violent fathers. It felt so good to do something. The remaining three months were spent with an Indian family in the countryside of India. They adopted me as their daughter, and all of a sudden I had several Indian brothers, sisters, aunties and uncles. Here I mostly worked with people in tribal villages, I learned a lot about life. I also learned a lot more about Hinduism. The family I stayed with was very religious and the mother of the house used to take me to the Goddess temple every day teaching me how to pray and how to do the different rituals. She also had a Guru, a spiritual teacher, and she took me to see him. He was an elderly man who talked in riddles. I was instantly afraid of him. He wanted to be treated like a saint, a holy man, and he told me I could become greater than him but I had to become his student. I was too scared and did not feel like seeing him again. A couple of days later I had my first out-of-body experience. I drifted into space, but I thought I was going to die so I stopped the trance before I could drift further.

When I came home from my stay in India I was changed. I had seen a lot, and much of it was hard to cope with. The coming year was the most difficult year of my life. I had no energy to do art, no writing, no creating. I moved away for university and was lonely and sad a lot. I could not participate in anything fun. I was processing all the pain I had seen in India, but not in a good way. I also lost my grandfather and my grandmother that year, and my other grandfather was diagnosed with cancer, and my mother had to undergo surgery. After that year was over I had to do something. I decided to go abroad, this time to Ecuador to study Spanish. On my way to Ecuador I visited my friend who was studying acting in New York. I loved New York! I loved the creative and artistic vibe of the city, and slowly I started smiling again and feeling creative. My trip to Ecuador became a healing journey. I met so many beautiful people, sharing truths and love with me. I got a new perspective on Christianity, as the catholic churches in Quito practiced Christianity in a very different way than the pietistic Norway. Here the focus was on Love and compassion, not sin. I remember one service I went to, the priest talked about the world as a brother-and-sisterhood of human beings and he had the whole congregation hugging each other telling each other how much we loved one another. It was beautiful. I also met an angel in Quito, and earth angel, and he taught me a lot about strength.

After that trip I felt better. I went on to study religion at university, and met a teacher who taught me about inner beauty, and the beauty of spirit our scars create. I went on a study trip to Egypt and it was again a healing journey. I started to create again, to write, and I signed up for a poetry workshop in Ireland on the island I had fallen in love with at 15: Inish Mor. It was like magic being back there. That island healed me and restored me and let me find my way back to myself. It is magical island. I met a lady, Pam, an Australian Astrologer who was healing from a broken abusive marriage. I also met Sarah, a girl who was also healing from a relationship of physical violence. Sarah taught me about gemstones and their healing power. She gave me an amethyst. The result of the workshop was a tiny volume of poems titled Wind Songs. Sarah, Pam and I had become good friends, and we also met a street artist, an African drummer, who lived in a hundred year old cottage by the sea near a seal cove. I befriended him, and he told me I could come back and rent the cottage for a silent writing retreat. That excited me a lot and I decided to do that.

Back in Norway I made the decision to change my college. I joined a missionary college, not to become a missionary, but to study multiculturalism and social anthropology. I loved the school with all my heart and soul. I had finally found a place where I could make friends without having to party or consume volumes of alcohol. I also started teaching a youth group for teenage girls with eating disorders. It is the most rewarding thing I have ever done. I found out that I could help others without sacrificing my own happiness in the process. I also found a cottage on an island close to where I lived where I could go for my own little personal poetry retreats. It was an old cottage without water or electricity and it was right next to the mighty sea, surrounded by fields of Christmas trees. Every night I was visited by herds of deer. My trips to that island resulted in a poetry exhibition about angels that I had in a small local coffee shop around Christmas. I felt so alive and so happy.

At 23 I was finished with my college studies. I needed to travel again. I planned a three months trip to Europe. I had no plans, only that I would start out by visiting Pam, the Australian Astrologer who had now divorced her husband, and at 60 years old, moved to Ireland, become an Irish citizen and started a college course in Archeology. She lived in the courtyard of an old Irish castle and she welcomed me with open arms. The two weeks with Pam was spent meditating, chanting mantras to help with her healing, learning about astrology and different old European Goddesses. Pam was communicating with angels and she taught me a lot about how to feel them. At this point my meditations were mostly centered around Love as a healing force, both for myself and others. I helped Pam heal by chanting mantras for her every day. She said my presence filled the house with peace and Love. The animals must have felt it too for every night herds of deer came to seek shelter in the garden surrounding the house. Pam said that had never happened before.

After my visit with Pam I went to Inish Mor to stay in the hundred year old cottage by the sea. I spent my time writing, walking, getting to know the islanders and singing. After a couple of weeks I had a poetry exhibition ready. I moved to Galway the nearby city and there I found a Spirit center where they wanted to exhibit my poems. My poems were called Nine Nights of Purnima and was a collection of Goddess poems. The exhibition was beautiful. The poems were on the wall, and a sitar player was playing beautiful Indian music. After my exhibition I joined the meditation group in the center. I made new friends. I had been living with a bunch of street artist, but I was not comfortable there due to their excessive smoking of drugs. One of the ladies in the meditation group invited me to come and stay with her in her little house by the sea. I happily accepted the invitation. The house was a small and cozy place where I could fall asleep to the sound of the sea and the waves crashing on the pebble beach. We collected drift wood for heat and used candles as light. The lady was a musician and I spent my days listening to her singing and playing piano. Next to her house there was a Fairy Forest and I spent many days there wandering around hugging trees. One of the neighboring houses was a beautiful purple house with a garden filled with occult and astrological symbols. I decided to find out who was living there, so one day I mustered my courage and knocked the door. An elderly lady opened. She was completely dressed in purple and her name was Pearl. She reluctantly invited me in. Her whole house was purple and filled with occult art. She told me she was a professional astrologer, and offered to do my horoscope for me. I didn’t say no, but was also not too excited. But I let her do it. When she saw my chart she smiled and started laughing, she said it was the most profound chart she had seen, that I was gifted and that if I studied astrology I would become a master at it. She gave me an address to an astrologer in Copenhagen, Denmark and told me to go visit him. I decided to follow this lead. But before Copenhagen I stopped by Holland to visit a friend there. I had 10 days in the city of Deventer in Holland where I studied street art and went to old book shops. A friend I had met in Quito while studying Spanish had invited me to come and stay with her in Copenhagen, so I left Holland and met her on the train station in Copenhagen. She was delighted to have me, and together we spent hours talking about travelling and culture. Next day I went to the Astrologer’s house to meet him. He was a young newly married man, half Danish, half Kenyan, his wife was from the Eastern Europe, she was an astrologer too. This teacher again did my horoscope and I got the same reactions as before. He told me I was spiritually gifted. By now, I felt this more as something to dread than to celebrate. He told me I should start studying Astrology, he gave me a mantra to recite and told me to be aware of wandering spirits that might be attracted to my energy, he also told me not to study with male gurus and gave me his wife was a teacher. I stayed with them a couple of days learning and studying. But I did not find it to my taste. I have never liked rules, to study something that is already there, I am not a good student, I want to explore, find out new things, not learn things someone else has found out before me. I did not like having a teacher, I have never liked preaching or learning by heart, I felt there was no mystery to this, no excitement. So I left astrology and decided to head back home.

Back in Norway I was not sure what to do next so I applied for a job in a school. I got it and started working with children with learning disabilities. I used creative thinking, artistic expression, imagination and dramatization to teach the kids, and it was a big success. I had done this before in India so it was not new to me. I became popular at the school, and the school psychologist wanted me to stay on, but I had to move onwards. I started working as a leader for group of kids with social and mental challenges. In this group we used art to connect with the kids and help them cope with their challenges. I loved it. I started studying, on my own, art therapy. I also started teaching comparative religion to older kids, as well as work in an asylum center teaching arts and crafts to the children there. I met another artist, she was studying astrology too, she encouraged me to apply for an Art academy, but I knew I was not good enough in painting and drawing, art was in my soul in the form of shapes, colors, ideas, movement, emotions, not in lines and mirror reflections. I was not feeling comfortable in Norway, I felt far away from my soul, I felt I always had to hide my soul away, I could not let it shine, people were too practical, narrow-minded and down-to-earth, they could not deal with my spirituality. It hurt to have to tuck away my soul like that. So I needed to move.

I decided at 24 years old to move to India. It was impulsive, perhaps not very practical or thought through, and my parents surely let me know that, but I needed to feel my soul again, so I sold all my things and moved. One of the reasons why I moved to India was to meet the Dalai Lama. And I had my dream come true. I did not meet with him personally, but I attended a lecture he gave in a small lecture hall in India. It was magical and I was spirited away by his words and energy. I decided to become a freelance writer to support myself writing mostly about spirituality and India and I managed to make a living out of that. I did not need much, and India is a poor country. In India I met someone who would change me profoundly. Someone who would help me find the balance between my spirituality, my soul and my human self and my life here on earth, someone who would help me to take joy in earthly things, not just spiritual, someone who would help me find my own spiritual path not guided by others, but guided by my own soul, someone who would help me find peace with my spiritual “powers” and not look at them as a threat by letting others define them. And here I am today, living in India, the land of my soul. I am not an astrologer or great spiritual teacher, I am not a guru or saint, I am just me, but I think that is enough for now at least.
🙂 ❤ 🙂 ❤

I hope I have not bored you with my Life story. I hope it has inspired you, perhaps a little bit at least, because that is why I have shared it here. To inspire. I feel it is filled with magic and wonder, and I just had to tell you about it. The world is a magic place! I am still young and I have a lot of exploring and learning still to do. I love not knowing what will happen next or where I will end up. It increases the mystery of life, and if there is something I love it is mystery!  

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113 thoughts on “A Heart Wide Open

  1. Pingback: A Heart Wide Open | Love Notes from the Angels

    • Oh, thank you so so much! 🙂 I was little scared to publish it, but now when I get comments such as yours I am so happy I did! 🙂 ❤ Thank you! ❤ Lots of Love and Light to you as well! ❤

  2. This is truly and amazing story. I envy you. You were able to pursue your dreams and ended up right where you wanted to be. Thank you for sharing!

    • 🙂 Yes, I have to give it to my parents, they might not have ever understood me, and perhaps thought at times I was quite weird, but they always, even at a very young age, gave me freedom to pursue my dreams, that is something I am learning to value now, especially after living in India for a while where the girls are so protected it borders to completely being controlled by their male relatives. Thank you so much for taking time to read 🙂 ❤

  3. After reading this, I have found even more respect for you and your writing. I feel very inspired by your story, even more so I am so very humbled by your generous comments made towards my poems. You truly are a gifted person full of light and love that can be seen with the words you write. Thank you so much for all you have shared so far and hope you continue to do so for many years to come. 🙂

    • Oh, thank you for your lovely lovely comment! 🙂 You have touched my heart with your words ❤ I wanted to inspire and to show how magical the world can be when we embrace it with an open heart and soul, and after reading your comment I feel so happy that I shared my journey here. 🙂 Thank you! ❤ I hope we will continue to inspire each other with our poetry and writing, for you inspire me too immensely. ❤ Lots of Love and Light to you! ❤ ❤ ❤

  4. Trini!! OH MY GOODNESS……. what a rich, colourful and enchanted journey you have taken us on!! I read ever single word of it and couldn’t stop reading it until I came to the end! Thank you so much for sharing this with us. A magical, wonder-filled, enchanted journey…….just as life should be !! 🙂
    xo

    • Oh, I am so so happy you enjoyed reading about my journey!! 🙂 It has been a magical one and I wanted to share to inspire people to believe in the magic of the world, that if we have an open heart and look for the magic it will come to us and fill our lives with its grace and mystery. Thank you for reading and appreciating my story 🙂 ❤ Your words mean a lot to me! ❤ ❤ ❤

  5. Hello dear sweet Angel!! Your story is exactly what I would want to hear from an Angel who lives by her own rules! You soar on “wings of love” and you follow the beauty of your soul which brings you to the places that you need to be…to learn the next installment of your life classes 🙂 I understand how some of what you experienced very young would make you a little worried. ..a little reticent. For a young girl with very little ego involvement I am certain it was a little frightening. But what I love about you dear one is that you KNOW who you are…at least the very essence of the love that you are. For one so young it is quite remarkable!! I know you have so much more to learn …at learn and you will continue to do that with beauty and love in your heart!! Thank you sweet Trini…I’m so happy you decided to share your life with us here!! Much love Angel ❤ ❤ ❤

    • Oh, dearest Lorrie, thank you so much for your lovely lovely comment! I really wanted you to read this because just like Laurie I feel that we have really connected here and I wanted you to get to know me a bit better 🙂 ❤ I am so happy you took time to read this ❤ Yes, one thing I can say for sure is that I have always, always followed my heart, and even though I can be scared about a lot of things I am never scared to move forward, to take the next step, to let my heart and my soul lead me on, that is what I have always done and will continue to be. And yes, I have always known who I am, because I have always identified with my soul, my big challenge has always been, and continue to be, to be brave enough, confident enough to stand firm in myself, to not let other people pull me down, to not take too hard upon myself other people's pain and suffering, to not take on the horrors of this world, and to choose happiness for myself, sometimes even above happiness for other people. But I am working on it, and I will manage 🙂 Lots and lots of Love to you lovely beautiful Lorrie! ❤ ❤ ❤

      • You dear sweet soul…I know that you were put here to do remarkable things, so I know that you will have the courage you need to do whatever your heart tells you 🙂 I was very happy to read more about you and I am not surprised at all by your story as I already feel I know you so well! Thank you for sharing dear heart <3. Have a super week!! 🙂

  6. To say you were on a spiritual journey is an understatement. I too have found my connection, but rather living to serve the one true God. I am at peace now and love all people. Thank you for the inspiration.

    • Thank you for your lovely words. I am so so happy to hear that you are at peace in Love and in God. That makes my heart very happy 🙂 It is so wonderful to feel that peace inside, to rest securely in one’s own faith and soul 🙂 I am so happy for you. Thank you for taking time to read and comment. That means a lot to me 🙂 ❤

    • Oh, that is the best! When we read something and we feel less alone, like someone is there with us who have lived through some of the same, how lovely! 🙂 ❤ 🙂 ❤

  7. Dearest Trini, Your story, the courage to share it, the courage to live it, and your faith in life were truly inspirational. Clearly you are on the path of love and clearly you will always find it. You are profound, and you have my best wishes. 😀

    • Oh, thank you so so much!! 🙂 What a lovely lovely comment! 🙂 I am so touched ❤ I am sending you all my best wishes of Love and Peace and Joy to you! 🙂 ❤ Thank you so much for taking time to read 🙂

  8. OH wow sweet friend! You are so brave. So brave! I love that your life has been one of magical travel and mystery and that God has carried you through each experience. I love that so much! I also love that you stayed in touch with your spirit since the age of 3 or 4. I’ll share something with you about my own life in the I never let go of that magical side either I simply never shared it because several people said in my family that I was always in Lala land and I needed to be more serious. I love that you were so strong in your beliefs within yourself to never let anyone dampen that sweet spirit that exudes from your like sweet lilac in the Spring. I knew this about you without knowing all the details and that is what makes this beautiful share even sweeter! I love this! I love your sweet heart and the light the you share! This made me smile! I am sitting here in amazement right now and thanking God for this beautiful Angel named Trini. We are very blessed to know you! Have a beautiful day! Do you ever sleep? I was wondering that! ❤ love to you! (っ◔‿◔)っ♡ sending heart full of love to you!

    • I feel that sweet childlike faith in you too! ❤ and it is so beautiful! I know how it is to be taunted and laughed at for your beliefs, I know how it is to feel that you have to hide parts of yourself from others because they don't accept you. I do that too, not because I want to or am ashamed, but simply just because I know it will stir things up to much. Sometimes it is okay to hold back, to adjust, like if we were going to explain a death to a child, we need to use words to adjust to their level of thinking, I do that all the time, I never hide the truth, but I say it in a different way. I prayed here the other day, asking God how to be around people who just live from ego, and God said that I could still let my soul shine, I did not have to hide it away, but I did not have to use words either, I could just be in that energy and let it shine out from me. God said that if I did that then my energy would affect people and places in a positive way even without words, and sometimes that would even make more difference than words, because that pure soul-energy would penetrate people's egos where words may not be able to since they have to go via the mind first. I will follow God's advice and try this approach. I have my childlike faith too, I still believe in fairies, but now I believe that they are Light beings, souls made up of light vibrating on such a high frequency that we cannot see them. I don't see them as little be-winged children anymore, even though I love to look at them like that 🙂 I think my father's philosophy lessons and my brother's lessons in science (he is a scientist and mathematician working in brain research) has given me this need to make sense of things, to see them logically, and I think that is a strength. Even spiritual aspects such as God, Angels, reincarnation, soul, have to be logical and makes sense to me, so I look for those rational explanations, and I think that is a good thing 🙂

      Yes, I do sleep! I sleep from 11 pm to 6 am 🙂 🙂 I get up with the sun 🙂 But I am in a different time zone here, so we probably have around 10-12 hours difference in time 🙂

      Sending lots and lots of Love to you too and a big hug!! 🙂 ❤

  9. What wonderful heart, careful to the needs of others, compassionate and loving! I very much enjoyed your story and the interest in the spiritual aspect of existence, which I consider essential. Life is beautifully mysterious and sacred. Thanks for sharing your light, thanks for sharing part of your inner being. Peace, W.

    • Oh, I love that: “life is beautifully mysterious and sacred”. So wonderfully expressed! 🙂 I think of life like that too, like something to explore and learn from 🙂 Thank you for reading and appreciating this Walter, it means a lot to me 🙂 and thank you for your lovely words, they are a gift to me 🙂 Blessings of Peace, Light and Love to you! 🙂

  10. Loved reading your heart-led life story, Trini. So much life already in one so young! I think you are an ‘old soul’ come here to inspire us! And that you do. Big hugs! ❤

    • 🙂 🙂 Thank you so much Eliza! 🙂 I love that “heart-led story”. How beautifully expressed! 🙂 ❤ Perhaps I am an old soul 🙂 I just know that I have all these memories from something that does not belong to this life 🙂 Thank you for reading and appreciating!! ❤ ❤ Huge hugs to you too lovely Eliza! 🙂 ❤

  11. Thank you for sharing this, Trini. It is so interesting the way our lives work, how they ebb and flow. Even before reading your statement of gratitude to your parents, I wondered about that, because clearly to have done so much at such a young age, they supported you– their daughter– above all. In a way, being born into a family of atheists may have been the perfect platform for you to come to new ideas on you own. Obviously… I loved the story of your secret Christian meetings, and the chocolate Jesus… 🙂

    It gives me a good feeling to know you’re out there, on the other side of the planet, being you. That we’re alive, breathing the same air, despite walking such different paths. I think, as others have suggested, the expression of “Trini” is only just beginning… Thank you for what you have offered…

    Much Love
    Michael

    • Thank you so so much Michael for this beautiful comment! 🙂 Yes, I love to think about that too, that we are like fellow wanderers seeking God and the truth 🙂 We may see the truth in different colors and shapes, but I believe it is nevertheless the same truth, it is just that we have different personalities, different needs based on our life experiences and emotional nature, so God presents “himself” to us in a way to fill that need 🙂 ❤ That is what I believe at least. Yes, I have not given my parents enough credit for letting me have the freedom to explore my own life path from a very young age. They may not have liked the path I chose, but they let me choose it 🙂 🙂 Thank you so much Michael for reading, appreciating and sharing your thoughts. That means so so much to me! 🙂 ❤

  12. Well, well, such a beautiful, spontaneous, creative and heart centered life you have lived. I applaud and admire you and your path Trini. I’ve had moments of knowing, but not consistently. I’m still learning how to listen and follow my inner guidance. Thanks for sharing your story; such a beautiful one of loving, serving and following your heart. blessings my sister, angel, friend and teacher. Thank you.

  13. Beautifully written Line. It is a gift to follow your heart and not the world, for then you do see the truth within it, not the lies.
    Your journey has been very special because of what you were able to learn from a young age. THAT is what should be taught now, so that the young can grow into their truth, reduce the pain of this world, because they will then be future leaders and share from what they have been taught.
    I too, as many have spoken, been impressed by the beauty and strength you have shown by standing in your truth and giving that back out with the love that you have become.
    Again, I bow to a master, of life, love and the light that you share unconditionally to us all. Namaste

    • Oh, Mark, you are always so sweet!! Your comments always make me smile and they touch my heart so! 🙂 Thank you for adding to my happiness! 🙂 I agree with you that young people should be inspired to find their own inner truth, to live and learn from and with their hearts and most importantly to act and be from the inside out, finding their own “power” and their own gift. I want to help young people do that, not by preaching but by example. That is the main reason why I share here, to inspire people of all ages to find their own inner truth, to carry their hearts into the world and to live from their soul 🙂 I believe that is the key to changing the world and to make it a better place. I believe we spend too much time learning from others, copying, neglecting our own heart and our own truths. People today want to be entertained, want to shown a way to be successful and become “winners” that is having an opposite effect, it makes people disconnect with their souls, and then the only thing which is left is the ego. I want to write more, but I am running out of time. I have to run! Lots and lots of Love and LIght to you lovely Mark!! 🙂 ❤

  14. Trini,. I have just finished reading and perhaps need time to absorb it in but wanted to say, what an amazing journey.Thank you for sharing. I took mum out for indian food and we saw a film set in india so I have been transported there this weekend- unaware you are there. I really hope one day to visit India. Enjoy each and every moment. Present is the time 🙂

    • Oh, thank you so much for reading and appreciating! 🙂 ❤ Yes, it has been an amazing journey, I must say! Quite magical! 🙂 India is a country filled with mystery, spirit and poetry ❤ I love it! ❤ I hope you will get to visit here too 🙂 ❤ I am sending you heartfelt wishes of Joy, Love and happiness 🙂 ❤ 🙂 ❤

  15. Your life story is Amazing Trini, Your gifts of love inspire me! You have really lived my dear! Many people which they could release themselves into spirit, to truly LIVE their lives. The ninth insight inspired me as well, and I too was always very different than my family. Thank you for sharing your journey and staying Magical Trini. You are such a great reflection, as we connect together beyond age and time as divine light beings!
    Much love Trini Robyn

    • Oh, thank you so so much Robyn! 🙂 ❤ I am so happy you took time to read and appreciate this, it means a lot to me! 🙂 ❤ You inspire me too! every day, with every post you publish! 🙂 Thank you for being your wonderful self and for sharing that self with the world ❤ Lots and lots of Love to you dearest ❤ ❤ ❤

  16. Thank you for sharing your life story with us Trini 🙂 It was as though I was travelling with you with each life moment and choices…you my friend are an inspiration to all of us ❤ Keep following your heart, keep dreaming with wings, and keep being you ❤ ❤

  17. Trini, thank you so much for sharing your life story with us, I am awed at your courage and strong will. May you be forever blessed with strength and inner peace.

    • Oh, thank you so so much! 🙂 ❤ Thank you for your beautiful words, and thank you for reading and appreciating! 🙂 ❤ I am wishing you too beautiful blessings of Love, Peace and Joy ❤ ❤ ❤

  18. Trini!!!! I love that you shared your amazing journey and I feel so blessed to have you in my sacred hoop of blog friends…what a great read! One part that struck me was the heard of deer… My Indian Name is Running Deer and I have never heard anyone speak of deer except for a hunter! Another thing that we have in common is seeing the faries and others… I see gnomes all the time and you are the only person outside my family and close friends that i have shared that with… welll I guess I just shared it with other readers but I don’t really care.. they are real and I see them and love every minute of it, they along with so many other wonderful creatures I await to see on the other side one day where it will be normal for all. Seriously I am so happy for you and thank you for sharing a bit of your journey, I look forward to learning more.
    Charlee

    • Thank you so much for taking time to read and appreciate! 🙂 I love that you see gnomes! How lovely!!! ❤ ❤ ❤ I love all the otherworldy creatures 🙂 Yes deer in all forms have come to me many many times. It has been quite mysterious and thrilling and I feel that they talk to me 🙂 in my mind I mean 🙂 I love Running Deer! What a beautiful name! Have you seen the documentary "The Fairy Faith"? I think it is available on youtube. I love that documentary. You know in Ireland many people believe in and see fairies. People who have the sight. It is such a magical place and I loved finding so many kindred spirits there 🙂 I hope you will get to go one day, if you haven't already been. Thank you again for reading and thank you for inspiring me every day on your beautiful blog! Lots of Love and Joy to you! 🙂 ❤

      • I have not seen it but I will go and find it… I see the fairies too and it is so magical beyond words and I feel really blessed to see them. I have always wanted to go to ireland and New zeland and if spirit directs me to go it will be! I love your blog and your heart, have a great day… for me it is bedtime so I hope to connect with you tomorrow. Blessings and virtual hugs to you.

      • Oh, I hope spirit will take you there! You’ll love it!! I am wishing you beautiful dreams and I am so much looking forward to seeing you tomorrow! 🙂 Hugs!! ❤

  19. Dear Sweet Trini..
    Your soul journey is one to be in awe of… For you have followed your heart and as strongly as you have followed it, you have given it out to all whom you have met..

    I read your story from start to finish, and within each sentence I could feel the constant love and searching knowing you needed to be upon a path.. And India right from that young age had always called you into its heart.. And It has held you within her warm embrace..

    Dear Trini.. No wonder your star chart revealed such magic .. For you are such a spiritual BEing. and are upon an earthly mission within your form to help and heal others..

    Its always a joy coming here Trini to visit.. Today the Joy was treble fold.. For although I knew and Know you are Special.. Your Story just confirmed it… For your Heart is always Open Wide my friend.. and Its a privilege to know you ..

    Love Sue ❤ Sue xxxx with Mega Hugs your way xx

    • Oh, thank you so so much for all these Love-filled words Sue!! 🙂 ❤ You always touch my heart with your beautiful comments ❤ You are truly a blessing to and reading your words always makes me smile and lifts me up ❤ It is so lovely to share this with people like you who understands and appreciates ❤ Thank you Sue for adding such beauty and Love to my life <3. Huuuuuge hugs to you too!!!! ❤ ❤ ❤

  20. Thank you for sharing your story!

    It was me and a bunch of 40 year olds, but I didn’t mind that, I never cared about age, I saw souls, not aging people.

    I love this sentence from your story. That is how we should see everyone. Thanks for this reminder.

    • Yes, that is how it has always been with me 🙂 I never speak “baby” with anyone, not even babies, and I never speak “up” to anyone no matter their age. I have friends from 5- 95 and it is lovely because I see them behind their eyes. 🙂 I have never felt that my deep essence has changed. It has stayed the same since I was tiny, and I guess I just assume it is like that with everybody 🙂 Thank you for reading and appreciating my story! 🙂 ❤

  21. Trini, This narrative brings together the disparate things you’ve told me about Ireland, India and some hints about why you love to return to Norway, but love to leave, too. When we don’t quite fit with others in our life, we struggle and feel lonely when we’re with them. I have a wish for you, to find someone with whom you can truly share all of you, in person and in total, maybe with a few secrets left over, just for you to share with the universe. Underlying your story, I have the sense that you were alone a lot, spending time with many people, but not having someone of your own to take on your journey. I worry about you, so open and loving, but far from your family. I hope this person you’ve met in India will help you feel connected and happy in addition to spiritually fulfilled. I hope beauty finds you, and warm love surrounds you always. Hugs, Angel, beautiful you — inside and out. I wish we could meet on Inish Mor one day. I picture you moving through life, emitting an unseen light, and having people turn toward you with smiles, as they turn toward the sun, loving and welcoming.

    • Oh, I love that visual so much, of that trail of light and the smiles 🙂 🙂 🙂 That made me smile and feel all warm inside 🙂 Yes, it is true I have been alone a lot, even lonely. But I have accepted that some loneliness comes with being different. I have found comfort and company in God, a loving spiritual presence that has always been there with me. I wish so much we could meet on Inish Mor too, or anywhere in the world really. You have such a warm, loving and motherly (mother earthly) aura, I want to hug you! 🙂 I feel so blessed to have people like you in my life, and I will treausre these words you have given me in my heart always ❤
      Thank you for being your beautiful and lovely self ❤ I appreciate you so so much ❤ Big big hugs to you magical Fairy-Brenda! ❤ ❤ ❤

      • We are lucky to have touched each others lives, however tangentially. You are a giver, and it’s always magical for a giver to meet other givers, rather than always be with those who take. Of course, you need to give, but you also need to find ones who give back. For the future. I would give you an earth-mother hug if I could. ((((hug)))) This will have to do for now. I have in my mind to visit Europe in a few years. I hope to manage it, and if I do, I hope we can connect somehow. Blessings, Brenda

      • Oh, thank you for the lovely hug!! 🙂 ❤ I am sure we will meet one day ❤ and I am so much looking forward to that! 🙂 ❤ Blessings and big hug to you too! 🙂 ❤

  22. this is such a great story and is so inspiring ❤ <3. Im soooo happy to have this read, 🙂 🙂 Thank you very much for sharing your story with us. You are so special and unique, Im so happy that i know you, Trini Lind through your posts. I think Im lucky and everyone who read this post and everyone who knows you is so lucky for being able to know such an inspiring person. I hope you would learn more about this life, things that we ordinary people don't see. may you have the blessings of the Triple Gems. 🙂 🙂 ❤

    • Oh, how lovely you are!! 🙂 Thank you so much for this very inspiring and encouraging and beautiful comment!! 🙂 🙂 I am just about to post something that is little scary to post because it is so close to me, your words now gave me the necessary courage to post it! 🙂 Thank you! 🙂 You have given me a most beautiful gift today! ❤ Lots and lots of Love to you! ❤ You are a blessing 🙂

  23. What an amazing account of your fascinating life! What a blessing to read this. I would love to hear more about India if you have time. Blessings to you my friend.

  24. Trini, you’ve had a magical life so far. Like you, I’ve always been attracted to the magical things in life and sought to connect with different spiritual paths. I think your life would make a wonderful memoir.

    • 🙂 Yes, I feel that it has been quite magical. I feel drawn magical things too! ❤ Perhaps I will write a book inspired by my life one day ❤ Thank you for believing in me!! ❤ 🙂

  25. How lovely! ❤ I'm so happy I've discovered your wonderful blog; I'm glad we all have the opportunity here to share, learn, and grow from our experiences. :):) There are definitely themes that I, and many people, can relate to: wondering if I'm living my life purpose, how to feel comfortable being my authentic self, and how to balance the material aspects of life with the spiritual? Well, I guess these are all questions that we have to face at some time or another; reading this blog helped me to gain some perspective on my own life too. I'm in a stage where the authentic Sophia is finally emerging (Yay! :)); for so long I'd lived a life where the person I was raised to be simply did not represent who I truly am! However, as I perused through your life story it gave me some hope and guidance that the doubts, worries, and concerns I'm currently experiencing, at times, are merely part of a beautiful transformation. From your experiences, I've seen how you stayed true to your heart, followed your intuition, and decided to take a leap of faith and let the real Trini shine. ❤ ⭐ So, likewise, I also realize that I'm going through a metamorphosis…and just as the caterpillar turns into the glorious butterfly, so too will I. 🙂 ⭐

    Many Blessings Always,

    Sophia <3<3:star:

  26. This is a really interesting story. It’s interesting you mention having a connection to something you couldn’t concretely identify as a young girl. I feel the same, in a lot of ways. I think we’re all born that way, and then conditioned away from it at a young age. I write a blog about shamanism and energy work, and it’s sort of the same idea as what you described.

    I’ve always had these “inner knowings” that other people dismiss as being “weird” or “stupid” or whatnot, and it’s been a scary step to write about this kind of thing for me, as well. When I see that people are thinking about how it could be applied to their lives – especially in cases where people have PTSD, depression or other mental health issues – and then say so in my comments, it makes me feel like maybe I’m not as “weird,” “stupid,” or whatnot as I thought because I’m in tune with these “inner knowings”.

    I think such things are dismissed by others because we don’t grow up knowing about them or being taught about them, and I think there’s a lack of balance in that perspective. When we teach kids the extreme ends of the spectrum either way, I think it’s unhealthy for the children. I’m glad you were able to stay connected, somewhat.

    • Thank you for your very beautiful comment! 💖. I can relate to everything you are saying. I think for me, these inner knowings or whispers, are coming from the part of me that is connected to the whole universe, everything that pulsates and moves, the visible and the invisible. I believe this part of me, which we popularly call the soul, already knows the answers to the mysteries and it is trying to guide me on, to inspire me to fulfill my spiritual potential and to help others fulfill and become aware of theirs 💖😊💖😊

  27. oh wow , you have so much courage ,and you have been to Ireland , such a free spirit bless you , I have not been to Inis Mor but I will go and write about my visit there , I am so happy to have had the pleasure of reading your post here , I once met an angel well at the time I believed he was an angel , I would like to write about the experience sometime but it did take me a long time to get over the fact that angels do not like to be caught they seem to be like butterflies and resent it when we try to catch them , I sometimes wish I had not tried so hard to catch the butterfle because. it takes the magic away. a learning experience perhaps . Today I am happy and free spirited a little fearful for the world especially when I think of my grand children and their safety but I am sure all will be well . Sending you love and light on your journeys and look forward to reading more of your blog posts , Kathy.

    • Oh yes, I know how it feels to want to hold on to an Angel! I have tried that too, but it does not work. Angels come into our lives when we need them, and then when we don’t need them anymore they disappear. Like Mary Poppins or Nanny McPhee 😄😄😄. Best to just be grateful for the time we have with them, and let them move on to help someone else. 💖😊. Inish Mor is amazing! Beautiful energy, you should definitely go! And listen to the sea while you are there, it sings! I think the world can be scary for all of us, especially those of us who are sensitive and spiritual. But perhaps it is we who really should go out there and share our dreams and visions with the world, it really needs it. We are needed, even by those who do not think so. And that, I believe, is a comforting thought 💖😊

  28. Pingback: 「好きです。」この思い、君に届け。告白するときの緊張を味方につける方法。 | Love -恋愛・ライフスタイル-

  29. Pingback: 「好きです。」この思い、君に届け。告白するときの緊張を味方につける方法。 | キラキラガールズ 〜女子力向上サイト〜

  30. Yes > awesome The Experiential Guide was a turning point for me. Its a big reason why I’m here now where I am (he says stating the complete obvious ha ha) An amazing story and an amazing journey. Thanks for sharing.

  31. Wow Trini I just finished to read your beautiful and very inspiring life story! I had a long read I didn’t wanted stop reading because it is so interesting, your walk through life what a great evolution over the years. I loved also the way you wrote it chronologically event after event. while reading it made me think back at all my own life experiences. I am happy that you were able to find your way to happiness and that you are still going opening your heart, soul and spirituality to the world. I enjoyed to know more about you and I am very happy to know you here and that we got connected. I wish you all the love and best in life ❤ Carolina

    • Thank you so much!! 💖😊. I’m so happy you enjoyed this read! 💖💖. I love that it made you think of your own life experiences! 💖. I think we all have our own special journeys and a story worth telling 😊. I am also wishing you lots of love and happiness for the road ahead. 🌬💕💕💕💕💕

  32. Hi Trini – this is indeed an incredibly unique and inspirational life story. It seems that you began your soul search from the time you were very young and did not give up until you found the place and way of life that nourishes your Soul.

    • Oh, thank you so so much! 💖💖. Yes, it is true, I have been spiritually aware as long as I can remember, I choose to believe it came from a memory, but of course I cannot know. The journey has been amazing, though, still is. 💖🌸🙏🏻🌸😊

  33. I can’t believe I haven’t stumbled across this on your blog before and I’m so glad I did! What a beautiful, inspiring journey of soul. I loved reading about it and felt encouraged and inspired to continue to own and claim my own spirituality and soul path. Much love and light to you Trini, what a heart of an angel you have. 💗💗💗 BethAnne

    • Thank you dear, BethAnne!! I am so so thrilled that it inspired you!! ❤ That is why I shared it here! 🙂 I love reading about other people's spiritual journeys, so I wrote mine down too, even though it is of course a story in the making 🙂 🙂 I think we all have hearts of angels, it just that some of us choose to live from that place, and some don't 🙂 ❤ Thank you so much for your beautiful comment! ❤ Lots and lots of love and light to you too! Happy journey! ❤

  34. I think it takes courage and confidence to be ‘just you’ and in turn gives heart and confidence for others to be themselves, open hearted to the world . Thank you .

  35. Your story is vey inspiring and your words “It hurt to have to tuck away my soul like that” touched me deeply. If only more people were heart-centred and connected to their spiritual side…….huge sigh. This is what I love about the blogging community, we get to discuss our inner world and read amazing personal stories like this.

    • Oh, thank you so so much! 💖😊💖😊💖😊. Yes, I agree with you, that is what I love about the blogging community as well. That, and that we have the ability to publish our heart-work for everyone to see and read without having to go through a publisher first. I love that I am the one who creates and curates this site without any interference of an agent who just thinks money, money, money. 😊

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